1995...what an amazing summer for me....My mom gave me my first real taste of freedom...:)   she was fostering a boy named Jesse and was trying to adopt this girl named Sarah.  Sarah and I were sharing a room, even had brand new bedroom furniture to go with our brand new family and life.  I got a job that summer working for the Parks and Recreation.  Sometimes I would walk from my house to West Rec...sometimes Dan would take me to work.  I had so much free time and for once my mother wasn't watching what I was doing...and I took FULL advantage of it.  (Bow chicka wow wow)  I mean why not, everyone else was doing it right.  We were in LOVE....Up until this point in my life, I was very sheltered..had no real clue what love was...oh i loved my mom and my friends and family...but what about romantic love?  the thought of a man being a part of my life becuase he wanted to be there...not out of obligation was very intoxicating..growing up not having a 'real' father was rough.  I dont mean rough as in hard for me and my mom...i mean more the emotional void it creates.  There were several men in my mother's life that aimed to be the 'man of the house' but didnt really want to deal with me.  I was a 'cute child' but nothing beyond that.  One man even stuck around long enough to adopt me and give me his name.....then a few short years later told me i wasnt good enough to be his daughter and as far as he was concerned he didnt have a daughter only sons and if only i would try to be more like them....once he beat me with a belt until i black and blue from the middle of my back to my knees and told me i should go back to the orphanage where i belonged cuz no one really wanted me around....blah blah blah...(and i wonder why i have a hard time believing men)   Anyways....the youth group took a trip to chicago...called SEMP....learning how to share our faith with total strangers on the street.  It was fun, probably would have been better had it not been so blasted hot outside. Hottest days on record for chicago at that point.  no air in our rooms cuz we stayed at a local bible college in downtown chicago that was out for the summer...dan was so attentive to my needs and wants....is it any wonder that a few weeks later i would find out the biggest shock of my life